Urban Vancouver

Umbrellas: The Enemy to All

By Dave Swaine on November 1, 2005 - 11:30am

Hey everybody,

This morning i missed my bus & had to do the long long journey to the Bryght office on foot. Eventually, i made it ito the office, with my appearance suggesting i swam there on account of  the rain soaking me. Or, to be more specific, soaking my hair & coat.

So, what could i have done to prevent this? Carried an Umbrella? Yes.

But would i? No. Here's why:

Maybe its an Irish thing, but i don't no any guy that carries an Umbrella. From the kid with no job to the flashiest businessman, no guy in Dublin would be caught dead carrying an Umbrella. I can't exactly recall when it became this way, but its always been regarded as a pretty effeminate accessory.

Then of course, there's always been an uneasy relationship with Umbrellas as they are something of a health hazard. Have you ever walked down a busy street were there are a lot of Umbrellas on display? The rain is flying down, but your too busy carefully manoeuvring your way down the street, every step structured so carefully to prevent getting an Umbrella in the face (in extreme cases, the eye), which, i've been told, is quite a painful experience.

We have a pretty simple philosophy with regards to the rain at home: if its raining, don't go out. But if you absolutley have to, there are many ways of preventing a soaking without having to call on the dreaded & dangerous Umbrella.

Wear a raincoat. The great thing about raincoats is there versatility, because from business suits to torn rags, you can wear a raincoat with absolutley anything. Granted, there not worn as a fashion statement, but they do exactly what you want them to do. Unlike the Umbrella, they have absolutely no potential risk of harming another person.

Wear a hoodie. There not as versatile as the raincoat (could you imagine your boss walked in wearing an Adidas hoodie? Neither could i) but  like the former, they are highly effective at keeping you dry. I'm not sure if there really popular over here, but in Dublin there absolutely huge among teenagers.

Shelter. This is possibly the most popular rain preventing procedure of them all due to its limitless boundaries. From Bus stops to Corner Shops & Coffee Shops, everywhere has a shelter. Everytime it rains, you see people everywhere huddled under shelters until the rain stops, or at least, eases off. These are the people that have no time for Umbrellas, that regard it as a pointless thing to carry around when the rain stops. What's a guy gonna do with his Umbrella when the rain does stop? Put it in his rather fetching Handbag?!

Of course, not carrying an Umbrella can still keep you from getting soaked if you follow my tips, which, lets be fair, are just common sense But then, even if you don't follow them, just go get soaked.

Because after all my friends, it is only rain.